Friends of Tom Rawbone, Virgin Gorda Maintenance Chief got together for his Bon Voyage Party.
To see the Photo Story - Click for   or

Nick built it an Amy painted it so tourists could have their pictures taken as "Jumbies"

It seems that the tourists don't realize what everyone sees from the beach...

It's Easter Weekend in Leverick Bay and all the hotel rooms, villas and moorings are full - Happy Easter and Passover!

The BVI experienced the largest north swells since The Perfect Storm of 1991...

...these are some of the swells near the Virgin Gorda Yacht Harbor...

BIG weekend in Virgin Gorda!

This was "Blackfin" March 14, 2007...

...and here's "Blackfin" at her relaunch on my birthday March 16, 2008!

----------------

Happy Easter and Passover-- Welcome to Spring!

IS THERE ANY CONNECTION BETWEEN EASTER AND THE JEWISH PASSOVER?

Yes. The Bible tells us that Christ rose on the first day of the week of Passover. Easter corresponds to Passover, which means the passing-over of the Angel of Death. In ancient Hebrew days the Passover or Paschal lamb was sacrificed to save the people from death. Chris­tians believe that Christ the Lamb of God, through His sacrifice, made it pos­sible for all others to escape death.

------------------

A virgin girl is on the phone and asks her boyfriend to come over and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.

He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

Two minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after three minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

-----------------

A plane is on its way to Melbourne when a blonde in Economy Class gets up, moves to the First Class section and sits down.

The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde passenger that she paid for Economy and that she will have to go and sit in the back .

The blonde replies, 'I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here!'

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and co-pilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class that belongs in Economy and won't move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for Economy she is only entitled to an Economy place and she will have to leave and return to her original seat.

The blonde replies, I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here!

Exasperated the co-pilot tells the pilot that it was no use and that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman that won't listen to reason.

The pilot says, 'You say she's blonde?' 'I'll handle this, I'm married to a blonde, and I speak blonde!'

He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and she says, "Oh I'm sorry - I had no idea," gets up and moves back to her seat in the economy section.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

The pilot replied, "I told her First Class isn't going to Melbourne."

-------------------

40 Gypsies died and went to heaven.

They turned up at the Pearly Gates and asked St Peter to let them in. He said that they didn't have room for all 40 of them. He only had room for five, so they should go away and think about who would come in.

A short while later St Peter went to see God and said 'They've gone!'

God replied, 'What, the Pikeys?'' No, the F...ing gates'!!!!

---------------------

Words Women Use

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD!
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"

--------------

When a doctor remarked on a new patient’s extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, “high blood pressure, Doc. It runs in my family.”

“Your mother’s side or your father’s?” the doctor asked.

“Neither,” the patient replied. “It’s from my wife’s family.”

“Oh, come now,” said the doctor “How could your wife’s family give you high blood pressure?”

He sighed. “You oughta meet’em sometime, Doc!”

------------------

British Passport Application

Dear Minister,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport but I am a total loss to understand or believe the hoops I am being asked to jump through.

How is it that Bert Smith of T.V. Rentals Basingstoke has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a satellite dish from them back in 1994, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date?

How come that nice West African immigrant chappy who comes round every Thursday night with his DVD rentals van can tell me every film or video I have had out since he started his business up eleven years ago, yet you still want me to remind you of my last three jobs, two of which were with contractors working for the government?

How come the T.V. detector van can tell if my T.V. is on, what channel I am watching and whether I have paid my licence or not, and yet if I win the government run lottery they have no idea I have won or where I am and will keep the bloody money to themselves if I fail to claim in good time. Do you people do this by hand?

You have my birth date on numerous files you hold on me, including the one with all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30-odd years. It's on my health insurance card, my driver's licence, on the last four passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes and boats over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done every ten years and the electoral registration forms I have to complete, by law, every time our lords and masters are up for re-election.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, I was born in Maidenhead on the 4th of March 1957, my mother's name is Mary, her maiden name was Reynolds, my father's name is Robert, and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and the day I die!

I apologise Minister. I'm obviously not myself this morning. But between you and me, I have simply had enough! You mail the application to my house, then you ask me for my address. What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthals working there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to activate the Fifth Reich for God's sake! I just want to go and park my weary backside on a sunny, sandy beach for a couple of week's well-earned rest away from all this crap.

Well, I have to go now, because I have to go to back to Salisbury and get another copy of my birth certificate because you lost the last one. AND to the tune of 60 quid! What a racket THAT is!! Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day? But nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some tosser to confirm that it's really me on the goddamn picture - you know... the one where we're not allowed to smile in in case we look as if we are enjoying the process! Hey, you know why we can't smile? 'Cause we're totally jacked off!

I served in the armed forces for more than 25 years including over ten years at the Ministry of Defence in London. I have had security clearances which allowed me to sit in the Cabinet Office, five seats away from the Prime Minister while he was being briefed on the first Gulf War and I have been doing volunteer work for the British Red Cross ever since I left the Services. However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am -- you know, someone like my doctor...
who, before he got his medical degree 6 months ago WAS LIVING IN PAKISTAN...

Yours sincerely,
An Irate British Citizen.

-----------------

Q: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: We don't know. They're still arguing about it.

-----------------

YORKSHIRE GIRLS ARE BEST

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties to perform.

Terry had married a woman from America and bragged that he had told his new wife to do the dishes and all the cleaning in the house. He said it took a couple of days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and all the dishes were washed and put away.

James had married a woman from Australia and bragged that he had given his new wife orders to do all the cleaning, the dishes and the cooking. He told them the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better and by the third day his house was clean, the dishes done and there was a huge meal on the table.

The third man said that he had married a Yorkshire girl. He boasted that the duties he had ordered her to do were to keep the house clean, the dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table every day. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little bit out of his left eye. Enough to make himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher and call a gardener.

----------------------

Two Muslim mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a pint of goat's milk.

The older of the mothers pulls her bag out and starts flipping through photos and they start reminiscing. "This is my oldest son Mohammed. He is 24 "

"Yes, I remember him as a baby," says the other mother cheerfully.

"He's a martyr now, though," mum confides.

"Oh, so sad dear," says the other.

"And this is my second son Kalid. He's 21."

"Oh, I remember him," says the other happily. "He had such curly hair when he was born."

"He's a martyr, too," says mum quietly.

"Oh gracious me," says the other.

"And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He's 18," she whispers.

"Yes," says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school."

"He is a martyr, also," says mum, with tears in her eyes.

After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says..........

..."They blow up so fast, don't they?"

---------------

AFTER THE FEASTING IS OVER

In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums. And Satan said, 'You want hot fudge with that? And Man said, 'Yes!' And Woman said, 'I'll have one too with chocolate chips'. And lo they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthy yoghurt that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.

So God said, 'Try my fresh green salad'. And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said 'I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them'.

And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter, and Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds. God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds.

And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.

Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger. Then Satan said 'You want fries with that?' and Man replied, 'Yes, and super size 'em'. And Satan said, 'It is good.' And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed ......... and created quadruple by-pass surgery.

And then ............ Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service.

---------------

THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION

After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health.:

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
6. The French eat fois-gras, full fat cheese and drink red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

--------------------

A schoolteacher asked her primary six class to construct sentences with the words: defeat, detail, defense.

There was a pause before a pupil raised his hand and said he could make a sentence with them; "The cow jumped over defense and detail went over defeat."

--------------------

While taxiing at London Gatwick, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727.

An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going! I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between 'C' and 'D', but get it right!"

Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?"

"Yes ma'am," the humbled crew responded.

Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out in Gatwick was definitely running high.

Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?"

------------------

Should the UK change to the Euro ?

A survey of 10, 000 people in the UK, made up of Afghans, Pakistanis, Indians, Poles, Iraqis, Somalis, Africans, Albanians, Bosnians, Turks, Geordies, Brummies, Glaswegians and Liverpudlians were asked if they thought Britain should change its currency to Euro.

99% said no, they were quite happy with the Giro.

-----------------------

WAR BETWEEN IRELAND AND FRANCE AVERTED

Jacques Chirac, the French Prime Minister, was sitting in his office wondering what kind of mischief he could perpetrate against the United States when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, Mr. Chirac!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform ya that we are officially declaring war on ya!"

"Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "this is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is meself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"

Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one hundred thousand men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring ya back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Chirac asked. "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

Chirac sighed, amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to one hundred fifty thousand since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to ya."

Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a coople of shotguns in the
cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"

Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to two hundred thousand!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" said Paddy. "Again I'll have to ring ya back."

Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr.Chirac! I am sorry to tell ya that we have had to call off the war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Chirac. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and decided there's no way we can feed two hundred thousand prisoners."

------------------

Computer Problem Report Form

1. Describe your problem:

2. Now, describe the problem accurately:

3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:

4. Problem Severity: A. Minor__ B. Minor__ C. Minor__ D. Trivial__

5. Nature of the problem: A. Locked Up__ B. Frozen__ C. Hung__ D. Shot__

6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes__ No__

7. Is it turned on? Yes__ No__

8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes__ No__

9. Have you made it worse? Yes__

10. Have you read the manual? Yes__ No__

11. Are you sure you've read the manual? Yes__ No__

12. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? No__

13. Do you think you understood it? Yes__ No__

14. If `Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself?

15. How tall are you? Are you above this line? __________________________________________

16. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred?

17. If "nothing" explain why you were logged in.

18. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes__ No__

19. How does this problem make you feel?

20. Tell me about your childhood.

21. Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem? Yes__ No__

22. Can't you do something else, instead of bothering me? Yes__

Thank you for taking the time to fill out our Computer Problems Form. Please allow 1-week response time so that the problem will resolve its self or you will reboot your computer, most likely resolving the issue.

------------------------

A Somalian arrives in Birmingham as a new immigrant to England

He stops the first man he sees walking down the street and says, 'Thank you Mr Englishman for letting me in this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care and free education!'

The man says, 'You are mistaken, I am Pakistani.'

The Somali man goes on and encounters another passer-by. Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in the UK!'

This person says, 'I no British, me Polish.'

He walks on and stops the next person, shakes his hand and says, 'Thank you for the wonderful things in England!'

This person puts up his hand and says, 'I am from India, I am not English!'

Finally, he sees a nice lady and asks, 'Are you English?'

She says,? No, I am from Africa!'

Puzzled, he asks her, 'Where are all the English people?'

The African lady checks her watch and says ...

'Probably at work!! '

----------------

C’mon, loosen up……

Irish Countess Lura, the Countess of Killarney, was on a world tour with her husband, the Count. They were staying at an Intourist hotel on the edge of the Ural Mountains and were scheduled to begin an escorted horseback tour of the area early the next morning. Lura had developed a good tan a month earlier on the beach at Nice, but now she noticed that it was beginning to fade. Not having anything scheduled after lunch, she took a blanket and wandered off in search of a secluded spot where she could touch up the tan a bit.

Unfortunately, Lura failed to realize that at high altitudes the rays of the sun were much more damaging than at sea level. Even worse, she fell asleep. She awoke, feeling rather uncomfortable. Dressing gingerly, she limped back to the hotel to have her husband assess the damages and the prospects for the morrow. After one look he delivered his verdict: ....

"Tour all Ural, Lura?
Too raw, Lura. Lie."

----------------

53,000 Geordies meet in St James Park for a "Geordies Are Not Stupid" convention.

Alan Shearer addresses the crowd. "We are all here today to prove to the world that Geordies are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer please?"

Gazza gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.

Shearer asks him "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds Gazza says, "Eighteen!" "I'm afraid not", says Shearer.

Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then the Geordies start chanting "Give him another chance! Give him another chance!"

Shearer says "Well since we have a capacity crowd, world-wide press and global broadcast media here, I think we can give him another chance". So he asks "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds Gazza eventually says,"Ninety?"

Shearer looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh. Everyone is disheartened and Gazza starts crying.

But then the 53,000 Geordies begin to yell and wave their hands shouting "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

Shearer, unsure whether he is now doing more harm than good, eventually says, "What is 2 plus 2?"

Silence hangs over the stadium. Gazza closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four?"

Pandemonium breaks out throughout the stadium as the Geordie crowd stand to a man, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream .....

"GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

-----------------

Did You Know???

-Peel a banana from the bottom and you won't have to pick the little "stringy things" off of it. That's how the primates do it.
-Take your bananas apart when you get home from the store. If you leave them connected at the stem, they ripen faster.
-Store your opened chunks of cheese in aluminum foil. It will stay fresh much longer and not mold!
-Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom are sweeter and better for eating.
-Peppers with 4 bumps on the bottom are firmer and better for cooking.
-Add a teaspoon of water when frying ground beef. It will help pull the grease away from the meat.
-To really make scrambled eggs or omelets rich, add a couple of spoonfuls of sour cream, cream cheese, or heavy cream and then beat well.
-For a cool brownie treat, make brownies as directed. Melt Andes mints in double broiler and pour over warm brownies. Let set for a wonderful minty frosting.
-If you want a light taste of garlic, add garlic immediately to a recipe. If you want a stronger taste of garlic , add it at the end of the recipe.
-Left over snickers bars from Halloween make a delicious dessert. Simply chop them up with the food chopper. Peel, core and slice a few apples. Place them in a baking dish and sprinkle the chopped candy bars over the apples.Bake at 350 for 15 minutes!!! Serve alone or with vanilla ice cream.
-Reheat Pizza - As seen on the cooking channel, heat leftover pizza in a nonstick skillet on top of the stove on med-low and heat until warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza.
-Easy Deviled Eggs - Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag, seal the bag and mash. Add remaining ingredients, reseal and mash again mixing thoroughly. Cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg. Just throw bag away when done, easy clean up.
-Expanding Frosting - When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer for a few minutes.You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You also eat less sugar and calories per serving.
-Reheating Refrigerated Bread - To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food moist and help it reheat faster.
-Newspaper Weeds Away - Start putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers, put layers around the plants overlapping as you go, cover with
mulch and forget about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic but they will not get through wet newspapers.
-Broken Glass - Use a wet cotton ball or Q-tip to pick up the small shards of glass you can't see easily.
-No More Mosquitoes - Place a dryer sheet in your pocket. It will keep the mosquitoes away.
-Squirrel Away! - To keep squirrels from eating your plants, sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper. The cayenne pepper doesn't hurt the plant and the squirrels won't come near it.
-Flexible Vacuum - To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge, add an empty paper towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in narrow openings.
-Reducing Static Cling - Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and -- ta da! -- static is gone.
-Measuring Cups - Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill with hot water. Dump out the hot water, but don't dry cup. Next, add your ingredient, such as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.
-Foggy Windshield? - Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of your car. When the windows fog, rub with the eraser! Works better
than a cloth!
-Reopening an Envelope - If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Viola! It unseals easily.
-Conditioner - Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It's cheaper than shaving cream and leaves your legs really smooth. It's also a great way to use up the conditioner you bought but didn't like when you tried it in your hair...
-Goodbye Fruit Flies - To get rid of pesky fruit flies, fill a small glass 1/2" with Apple Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dish washing liquid, mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever!
-Get Rid of Ants - Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it "home," can't digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works and you don't have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!
-INFO ABOUT CLOTHES DRYERS - The heating unit went out on my dryer! The gentleman that fixes things around the house for us told us that he wanted to show us something and he went over to the dryer and pulled out the lint filter. It was clean."(I always clean the lint from the filter after every load clothes".) He told us that he wanted to show us something; he took the filter over to the sink, ran hot water over it. The lint filter is made of a mesh material - I'm sure you know what your dryer's lint filter looks like. Well,...the hot water just sat on top of the mesh! It didn't go through it at all! He told us that dryer sheets cause a film over that mesh that's what burns out the heating unit.You can't SEE the film, but it's there. It's what is in the dryer sheets to make your clothes soft and static free -- that nice fragrance too, you know how they can feel waxy when you take them out of the box, well this stuff builds up on your clothes and on your lint screen. This is also what causes dryer units to catch fire & potentially burn your house down with it! He said the best way to keep your dryer working for a very long time (& to keep your electric bill lower) is to take that filter out & wash it with hot soapy water & an old toothbrush (or other brush) at least every six months. He said that makes the life of the dryer at least twice as long!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Image Gallery

Wow is an understatement!!!!!

A truck was traveling down the highway at around 1 o'clock in the morning near Tulsa , Oklahoma .
Motorcyclist was traveling at 120mph and ran into the back of the moving semi-truck.
Truck driver said he felt the impact, and it took almost a 1/4 mile for him to pull over.
This is what he found...
 

He lived. wear your helmet!

-----------------

Date Opened: 1904 Date Closed: 1967
Location: by Western and Belmont Avenues, the
Chicago River and Lane Tech
High Remains at site: None

You Might Be From Chicago If:

You know where Aladdin's Castle was
1. The 'living room' is called the 'front room'.
2. You don't pronounce the 's' at the end of Illinois. You become irate at people who do.
3. You measure di stance in minutes (especially 'from the city').
And you swear everything is pretty much 1/2 hour away.
4. You have no problem spelling or pronouncing 'Des Plaines.'
5. You go to visit friends or family down south and la ugh when they complain about the traffic.

You know this was not the Greyhound bus station
6. You understand that no person from Chicago can be a Cub fan AND a White Sox fan.
7. It's 'Kitty corner' not 'Katty corner'.
8. You kn ow the difference between The Loop and Downtown
9. You eat your pizza in squares, not triangles, and you never refer to it as 'pie'
10. You own celery salt
11. You understand that the primary is the official local election.
12. You have drunk green beer on St. Paddy's Day
13. Stores don't have sacks, they have bags.
14. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example:
'Where's my coat at?' or 'Can I go with?'
15. Your idea of a great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the
bun, 'everything' is on it and a slice of dill pickle is on the side

You know 'The Bobs' was not plural for Bob
16. You carry jumper cables in your car.
17. You drink 'pop.'
18. You understand that I-290, I-90, I-94, and I-294 are all different roa ds.
19. You know the names of the interstates: Stevenson, Kennedy,Eisenhower,Dan Ryan, and the Edens
20. But you call the interstates 'expressways.'
21. You refer to anything South of I-80 as 'Southern or Central Illinois.'
22. You refer to Lake Michigan as 'The Lake.'
23. You refer to Chicago as 'The City'
24. 'The Super Bowl' refers to one specific game in January 1986.
25. You have two favorite football teams: The Bears, and anyone who beats the Packers.
26. You buy 'The Trib' and not the Tribune.
27. You know that despite being on the lake, there is no such place as the Waterfront.
28. You th ink 45 degrees is great weather to wash your car.
29. You picnic or ride your bike in the 'forest preserve'
30. You cried when Bozo was canceled on WGN.

You know this was 'The Silver Flash', not the 'EL'
31.You know what goes on a Chicago style hot dog.
32.You know what Chicago Style Pizza REALLY is.
33. You know why they call Chicago 'The Windy City.'
34. You understand what 'lake-effect' means
35. You know the difference between Amtrak and Metra, and know which station they end up at.
37. You have ridden the 'L.'
38. You think your next-door neighbor is a cousin to Tony Soprano.
39. You can distinguish between the following area codes: 847,630,773,708, 312, & 815.
40. You have at some time in your life, used your furniture or a friend's body to guard your parking spot in winter
41. You respond to the question 'Where are you from' with a 'side.' Example: 'West Side,' 'South Side' or 'North Side.'
42. You know the phone number to Empire Carpet!
43. You know what a garache-key is!

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